Sestina for Hooters
 
Some of it was expected— the girls,                         
in their Tamara panty hose— sickly orange
legs, the same color as the buffalo wings,    
serving cheap beers to bores on sad afternoons.
We knew about the clichéd booty baring uniforms—
What we didn’t expect were tables full of families.
 
Or the entire softball team, and their families,
eating like this was a place you should take little girls—
fake breasts parading in too tight uniforms,
people with bad taste swallowing piles of orange,
while they drink away their summer afternoons,
claiming, “I only come here for the wings.”
 
As if by using the pathetic pretense of wings,
you could erase that fact that families
are not meant to spend their Sunday afternoons
in sexist chain restaurants, admiring girls
who have no problem being seen wearing orange
or working a job that requires hot pants as a uniform.
 
The iconic owl stares from each perky chest with uniform,
creepy, “O” eyes that seem to say, “eat more wings.”
And suddenly, I feel like I’m being swallowed by orange.
A woman in a wheelchair smokes outside as families
stare plaster-eyed at football, ignoring the girls,
who don’t even bother to flirt for tips in the afternoon.
 
We both agree that we’ve had better afternoons,
as we note the nuances of the Hooters uniforms
worn in the photos of the international pageant girls.
Your burger is so bad that you can’t eat it, and perhaps wings
were actually the way to go.  I mean, all of these families,
seem happy, their fingers and faces all slathered in orange.
 
And really, what’s so bad about orange?
It’s the color that adorns late summer afternoons
and recalls those lazy days spent outside with our families—
Except that this is not the shade of the uniform.
It’s not even a lively hue that sometimes peppers parrot wings—
It’s the unfortunate tint of a too tanned Jersey girl.
 
And I cannot accept this orange, even if it is a uniform.
It’s like a bad Wings song blasting on a too hot afternoon—
Music adored by clichéd girls who feel rejected by their families.